Sad News

This has got to be the hardest thing to write and really no words can express how I am feeling but my courageous, beautiful, fun loving, husband and best friend sadly past away last Friday 21st June. He was so brave and put up such a good fight, staying positive until the end with hope that the Doctors could buy him a little more time.

He has left us with so many happy memories, he really did live life to the full, enjoying all sorts of hobbies including, cycling, motorbikes, shooting, diving, cars, his allotment, to name but a few over the years and most of all family life. He was so proud of all of our children and their achievements in life and I know they will continue to make him proud. He made us extremely proud too especially with his amazing achievement of riding around the country on his Honda C90 last year and his Olympics volunteering all since his diagnosis.

Dene was the love of my life and soul mate, we had been together since I was  15 and him 19 and have grown through life together. I know with the support and love from the children, family and our wonderful friends I will be carried through, but this is going to be the hardest thing I am ever going to do people say it gets easier but I can't see that at the moment, the only thing I know is that Dene would want us to enjoy everything we do and always live every single as if it was our last.

So on that note I will say goodbye and leave you with details of "The celebration of his life"
Wednesday 3 rd July at 12 noon, St Matthews Church, Redhill, Surrey. Internment at Redstone Cemetery followed by a party at The Harlequin Theatre Redhill.

Dene's wishes are that everyone wears bright colours to the church No Black and all those that want to wear fancy dress to the party afterwards!!!

We are having family flowers only and donations to St Catherine's Hospice and Epsom Canine Rescue as Dene got great comfort from our dog while we were out at school and work.

All welcome

Missing you already xxxx

Short update

As promised here is a short update on treatment this week.

Well I met with my new consultant Wednesday, and this was a very productive meeting, and the trialhe wants me to go on sounds very interesting. Its basically using trojan horse viruses to get inside the tumours and then the virus kills the tumour. There are only 32 people on this trial in the UK and around 2000 worldwide, so once again I am part of a select group. The downside is that I will need to spend a few days in hospital after each treatment, so I can be closely monitored, which is to be expected as its a trial. We asked what the measure of success is, and as a phase 1 trial, they are looking to see if the virus gets into the tumour. Now of course they would not do this if they did not expect this to also have a major benefit for me. In the labs this approach is very successful, so hopefully this will also work for me too.

My biospy, which was booked for Thursday, was cancelled as they want to carry out the biopsy in their own labs next Thursday. I will need regular biopsies throughout the treatment, as this is the only way they can check the virus is in the tumour. At the first biopsy they will also send a sample to another lab in London where a separate trial is looking at the genetics of tumours, and the benefit for me here is much more information about my tumours, and hopefully more targeted tresatment.

Now on returning from seeing the consultant, there was an update letter from my oncologist, which he sends to the whole clinical team, and a copy to me, after each visit. Both Sarah and I were srprised to see a statement in the letter that it had also spread to my lungs, which had not been mentioned to us before. I ncould not get hold of my consultant but did speak to my radiologist who confirmed this bad news, but he was extremely sorry it had not been explained to us in person. So thats another worry for us to deal with.

However to end on a positive note, Jackie, Sarah's big sister, has sent us 2 tickets to see rod Stewart at the O2 next Tuesday. She was worried I would not be up to it, I replied that I will dose myself up with morphine and Red Bull, but I will be there. Yesterday I booked the disabled parking, and was somewhat surprised to find this is in the cap park furthest from the O2, I feel a letter coming on ....

Road has come to a T- junction, which way to go???????

The last week or so has been a real roller coaster emotionally, and the time has come to make some decisions.

Last weekend was my cousin Tracey's birthday. Now I am a gentleman and won't say how old she is, but the amount of time she has to wait for her telegram is now less than she has waited so far. She had a great birthday, with a big marqee, or tent as she called it, disco, band and a pig roast. It was a really good evening, it was just a shame I was feeling pretty tired and had to leave by about 10.15pm. We had an hours drive home, which I slept through pretty much all the way. the party went on til 3am, so I am sure everyone went home happy,and maybe even with sore heads the next day!

The following day was Leisha's birthday, and we had a small family do here at home. for once the weather was good, nice and dry, and warm to boot. Leisha had a great day and was very happy with all her presents. Her birthday list made me laugh as she numbered every item, so 1 was money (lots), 2 was a mobile phone etc. However coming in at number 9 was Dad to get better. It bought a tear to my eye, then a tear of laughter as I was only at number 9!!

Then on Tuesday things started to change. I had a visit from Gill, my St Catherine's nurse to help with my pain, and I was somewhat dismayed to have my pain relief increased, not because I want the pain, but because of what it may signify. One extra prescription was for some morphine tablets, which I am using sparingly. The on Thursday I had to go into A&E, as I had some bad pains in my chest/abdomen. It was also lucky as my Oncologist has a clininc in my local hospital on that day, so after going through A&E, with all the tests, it was over to see my Oncologist. He wanted me to have an emergency CT scan as the initial tests at A&E showed nothing significant. A quick drive down to Gatwick Park and my CT scan was done. The bad news was two fold. The first thing was the pain was down to an enlarged liver, which is one possible side affect of the new tablets I have been on for 6 weeks. The other bad news was that these tablets are not working, as things continue to grow and get worse. Friday then saw me back in Guildford to see my Oncologist at my normal appointment.

Friday was also the day our loft extension was finished and signed off by the buildings inspector, so the day started well. However at the appointment, the news I have avoided so far came out. The tablets I am on are the last treatment available for me to try and manage the cancer. So we have reached the junction, do we say enough is enough and try and make the best of what I have and manage the pain. Or do I ask to go onto a research program to see if that helps me, or others. To be honest it was a no brainer, so this Wednesday see's me meeting my new Oncologist to discuss research programs. I am quite excited about this, and am treating it as just another medication to take. However, this alos meanms that Thursday I have to go to hospital again for another liver biopsy to check the tumours have not mutated, and to give the research team some tissue to base their medication on. I have had this done once before and the procedure itself is ok, but it was not too good afterwards for a few hours.

Now all this news has led me to another decision, in that I cannot go back to work. This was always a goal of mine as I have been lucky enough to have a great career, doing something I loved, at a company I enjoyed working at. I wish everyone there well, and ask that they keep in touch.

I will update again at the weekend, after everything has settled down.

Lots to update you all on ...

Over the last week or so, we have been mega busy and loads has been going on.

As you may have seen last Wednesday was Sarah and my 20th wedding anniversary and what a great time we had. First of all Sarah came home with a lovely present from work. Her work colleagues had bought us a night away at the Nutfield Priory Hotel, including dinner and breakfast. Thanks so much to everyone for this fantastic present, which also happened to be the hotel we spent our wedding night at. Now we knew of this present a few days before our actual anniversary so we managed to get well prepared, including sorting the kids out. Unbeknown to Sarah, I also had a chat with my good friends Jeremy and Jane, who lent me their Porsche 911 for a couple of days. Jeremy did offer me his Caterham 7, but I can't get in it without breaking switches so decided it was best not to pursue that option. Thank you Jeremy and Jane for this, and don't forget I still owe you for the petrol!

Well we started the day off by going to Chartwell, Winston Churchill's house, over near Westerham. We had lunch plus a walk around the house. I would have liked to walk around the grounds more but I was not up to it, more on that towards the end. We decided not to have a desert after lunch, and thought about a nice ice cream on Westerham green. However, as we parked up right outside a tea room offering lovely cream tea's, we decided it would be rude not to, so sat down in the sun to enjoy a very nice cream tea indeed.

We then left to go to the hotel and when we arrived we made use of the pool and spa for a while before getting ready and heading down to dinner. Now we were expecting a 3 course dinner, especially after all we had eaten so far, but no, we had a 5 course affair to get through. It was a major challenge but we made it, just!

Next morning we dropped the bags at home and checked that Mum had arrived to allow the builders access, then headed off to Rye for a day by the coast. Again we parked up and had a nice walk around town, whilst trying to find somewhere for lunch. As we were by the sea, I wanted something with fresh local crab in it. We tried several cafe's and really struggled to find somewhere, but in the end we did. I had a lovely salad, Sarah had sandwhich - I had had enough carbs by now and a salad was just fine. We left Rye and made a short visit to Tenterden, before heading over to Sarah's sister, Jackie, on the way home. Once again food was invlolved as a curry was bought in, which we did our level best to polish off, but this time we didn't quite make it.

We have had loads going on aside from our anniversary. Leisha's football team played in the League cup final against Croydon Borough. Now Croydon won the league premiership and are also in both the league and county cup finals, for the second year running. They had some very BIG wins on the way to the final. South Park, Leisha's team, are in their first year, and have finished 3rd in Division 1. Their progress to the final was a little more sedate, but make it they did. They played a great game, and although they lost 3-0, they were not outplayed or outclassed. I think this means they can look foreard to next year with great excitment. Rather like Leisha's football team, Max's team was also relatively new this year, and they were playing in the Premiership Division. After a dreafdful start to the year, when they hardly knew each others names, and were at the bottom of the league, they turned things around after Christmas. Since then, they have played 8, winning 7 and drawing one. Which if they had played like this since the start of the season would ahve meant they would have won the league. Instead, they went from second last to 6th on the last day, so avoiding relugation. Again roll on next year.

Freja has just finished school for a few weeks on study leave, as she prepares to take her AS exams. We have also planned the university visits, to see which one she would like to go to. We have a shortlist of 5 for our roadtrip, Manchester, Leeds, Huddersfield, Plymouth and Brighton. Anya was involved in a photo shoot for one of her dance teachers who is seeting up a new dnace company, she looks great, and I will put some photos up when I can.

Of course we have also had the loft extension still continuing, however the end is in sight, as most of  it will be finished this week, with it all finished by next Tuesday. then we can start getting everything back in order, and the painting and decorating really begins. So far we have spent a small fortune or so it seems on paint etc, quite a lot of it appears to be on my at the moment rather than the walls. We also had a work day down the allotment, with lots of people turning up to help get it in shape for this coming year. The helpers were Paul & Clare, Jo, Steve, Adam, Sian, Dee and Tess, Emma & Liz, Mum, Norm and Daph, and Jackie. (If I have missed anyone, sorry!!!) We provided tea and coffee, with bacon rolls to keep the energy levels up.

Lastly, on Friday I saw my oncologist, to see how I was settling in on my new medication. It seems as though I am fine on the new tablets, my bloods appear good, and my blood pressure is ok, which are the two area's of concern, However, for several weeks, I have had quite a bit of pain in my left hip and my left shoulder. This is linked to the bone where some of the disease has spread to, and the reason I have had some radiotherapy. The shoulder has cleared up fine, but the hip is still sore. I now have to wear a pain releif patch to help manage the pain, as well as taking paracetamol on a regular basis. I am meeting with my St Catherine's nurse this week, to check I am on the right level of pain relief. The oncologist is hopeful the hip will settle down, as damage to the bone can take quite some weeks to become better after radiotherapy, but we will see. All this means I am not as mobile as I would have liked, and am having to use my blue badge more than I like, but it was fun parking up the 911 and placing the blue badge in the window.

Another quick post

Happy 20th Wedding Anninversary Sarah Marsh. Thank you for being there through thick and thin, or in my case thin and fat! You have made my life complete, and I love you more every day. Here's to making the most of the next period of our lives together.

Quick update on the weekend

The weekend went very well for us all, but as usual was very busy in the Marsh household. In no particular order:

Freja spent most of the weeknd working, both earning money and also preparing for her A* exams. She got the results of a sociology mock exam, which she did not really studdy for, and she got an A.

Max had two football matches, playing for Perrywood. The first was against Merstham, who are bottom of the leaqgue, one place below Perrywood. Max's team won 4-2 after a sloppy start, going 2-0 down inside 1o minutes. Yesterday they played Caterham, who are currently 3rd. and they got a great 2-0 away victory. That's 5 matches unbeaten. As a pretty much new team this year, they had a slow start, but since Christmas they ahve played like league winners, so I hope they stay up. Max also started his first job, delivering a free local paper, he's already turning into a tycoon, as he has offered to outsouce some of the deliveries to Leisha for £2 a week!!

Anya spent all Saturday at a photoshoot for a new ballet company, soon to be launched in the Redhill/Reigate area, which ius being set up by one of her teachers. She, and a few other girls, had a great day, doing a wide range of shots, from classical to contemporary. We are really looking forward to the results.

Leisha had her final football match of the season for South Park ladies. They recorded a fine 14-1 win, which to be honest was not flattering at all. This secured them 3rd place in the league. However, next week they play the Premier League winners in the league cup final, so they probably could have done with a harder game to keep them on their toes. The cup final is being played on Sunday at Merstham FC, so if you are free, please come down to join us.

Lastly, Sarah and I played taxi to all these events, as well as sorting the house/loft extension. Today we have the plasterer's starting, and we hope to have it all ready for decorating by the end of next week.

Now ....  rest!

Radiotherapy over

Last Wednesday I had my last treatment of radiotherapy and I am pleased to say all went well. So far no side affects, and I am feeling much better every day, although if I overdo it one day I am still paying for it the next!

We had an extremely busy weekend, and I must say it was good to get involved. Firstly we finally found the tiles for our new shower room, which is in the loft. We saw so many tiles we struggled to find anything good, then we popped into The Extra Special Tile Company in Reigate. After some really good customer service, which started with Sarah saying she "had a rough idea what she wanted, but would not know exactly untill she saw it". The guy found some really great samples and within 15 mins we were sorted, highly recommended. We ordered them there and then, and had a call wednesday to say they were in.

Saturday we choose the new bathroom suite, as well as doing the food shopping. Now as I am not working at the moment, I should really do this during the week, but never mind. We also had a quick trip to the allotment, and I was really pleased to see my grapevines I had transplanted to the greenhouse coming on very well. It all looks a bit messy but nothing a little hard work won't sort out. In fact we are having a "help Dene with his allotment" day on Saturday 4th May. Free bacon roll's, tea & coffee and a cardio-vascular work out to anyone that wants to help out. Please email me or post a comment if you can help, so I can sort the catering.

Sunday was also busy, with Max playing football. It was a pleasure to see how well the team has come on over this year, they had a 2-2 draw with a team they lost 5-0 to earlier in the season, and to be honest they should have won. The highlight of the weekend for me however was the visit of Kate, Christian and Addison. Addison is only a couple of months old, and is a real little sweetie. I thought Sarah might get broody, but no she was ok. It was great to see them, and you can see the love and affection in Kate and Christian's faces.

This week has also been busy, although I have had to take it easy on a couple of days. The loft extension is now only about 2 weeks from being finished, and we are really pleased with it. I also managed a little work down the allotment, including cutting the grass on my new lawn mower. The 3 I have at home all died, so a new one had to be purchased. thanks also to Ross for clearing all the wood for me. today I had my first 2 weekly check up following my change in treatment, and all seems good so far. Well good in the way that they told me I could go after my blood test, and they would ring me if there were any problems. Well the phone has not yet gone, so I am assuming all is ok.

Next week will also be busy, but more about that another day ...