The last week or so has been a real roller coaster emotionally, and the time has come to make some decisions.
Last weekend was my cousin Tracey's birthday. Now I am a gentleman and won't say how old she is, but the amount of time she has to wait for her telegram is now less than she has waited so far. She had a great birthday, with a big marqee, or tent as she called it, disco, band and a pig roast. It was a really good evening, it was just a shame I was feeling pretty tired and had to leave by about 10.15pm. We had an hours drive home, which I slept through pretty much all the way. the party went on til 3am, so I am sure everyone went home happy,and maybe even with sore heads the next day!
The following day was Leisha's birthday, and we had a small family do here at home. for once the weather was good, nice and dry, and warm to boot. Leisha had a great day and was very happy with all her presents. Her birthday list made me laugh as she numbered every item, so 1 was money (lots), 2 was a mobile phone etc. However coming in at number 9 was Dad to get better. It bought a tear to my eye, then a tear of laughter as I was only at number 9!!
Then on Tuesday things started to change. I had a visit from Gill, my St Catherine's nurse to help with my pain, and I was somewhat dismayed to have my pain relief increased, not because I want the pain, but because of what it may signify. One extra prescription was for some morphine tablets, which I am using sparingly. The on Thursday I had to go into A&E, as I had some bad pains in my chest/abdomen. It was also lucky as my Oncologist has a clininc in my local hospital on that day, so after going through A&E, with all the tests, it was over to see my Oncologist. He wanted me to have an emergency CT scan as the initial tests at A&E showed nothing significant. A quick drive down to Gatwick Park and my CT scan was done. The bad news was two fold. The first thing was the pain was down to an enlarged liver, which is one possible side affect of the new tablets I have been on for 6 weeks. The other bad news was that these tablets are not working, as things continue to grow and get worse. Friday then saw me back in Guildford to see my Oncologist at my normal appointment.
Friday was also the day our loft extension was finished and signed off by the buildings inspector, so the day started well. However at the appointment, the news I have avoided so far came out. The tablets I am on are the last treatment available for me to try and manage the cancer. So we have reached the junction, do we say enough is enough and try and make the best of what I have and manage the pain. Or do I ask to go onto a research program to see if that helps me, or others. To be honest it was a no brainer, so this Wednesday see's me meeting my new Oncologist to discuss research programs. I am quite excited about this, and am treating it as just another medication to take. However, this alos meanms that Thursday I have to go to hospital again for another liver biopsy to check the tumours have not mutated, and to give the research team some tissue to base their medication on. I have had this done once before and the procedure itself is ok, but it was not too good afterwards for a few hours.
Now all this news has led me to another decision, in that I cannot go back to work. This was always a goal of mine as I have been lucky enough to have a great career, doing something I loved, at a company I enjoyed working at. I wish everyone there well, and ask that they keep in touch.
I will update again at the weekend, after everything has settled down.
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Monday, 13 May 2013
Lots to update you all on ...
Over the last week or so, we have been mega busy and loads has been going on.
As you may have seen last Wednesday was Sarah and my 20th wedding anniversary and what a great time we had. First of all Sarah came home with a lovely present from work. Her work colleagues had bought us a night away at the Nutfield Priory Hotel, including dinner and breakfast. Thanks so much to everyone for this fantastic present, which also happened to be the hotel we spent our wedding night at. Now we knew of this present a few days before our actual anniversary so we managed to get well prepared, including sorting the kids out. Unbeknown to Sarah, I also had a chat with my good friends Jeremy and Jane, who lent me their Porsche 911 for a couple of days. Jeremy did offer me his Caterham 7, but I can't get in it without breaking switches so decided it was best not to pursue that option. Thank you Jeremy and Jane for this, and don't forget I still owe you for the petrol!
Well we started the day off by going to Chartwell, Winston Churchill's house, over near Westerham. We had lunch plus a walk around the house. I would have liked to walk around the grounds more but I was not up to it, more on that towards the end. We decided not to have a desert after lunch, and thought about a nice ice cream on Westerham green. However, as we parked up right outside a tea room offering lovely cream tea's, we decided it would be rude not to, so sat down in the sun to enjoy a very nice cream tea indeed.
We then left to go to the hotel and when we arrived we made use of the pool and spa for a while before getting ready and heading down to dinner. Now we were expecting a 3 course dinner, especially after all we had eaten so far, but no, we had a 5 course affair to get through. It was a major challenge but we made it, just!
Next morning we dropped the bags at home and checked that Mum had arrived to allow the builders access, then headed off to Rye for a day by the coast. Again we parked up and had a nice walk around town, whilst trying to find somewhere for lunch. As we were by the sea, I wanted something with fresh local crab in it. We tried several cafe's and really struggled to find somewhere, but in the end we did. I had a lovely salad, Sarah had sandwhich - I had had enough carbs by now and a salad was just fine. We left Rye and made a short visit to Tenterden, before heading over to Sarah's sister, Jackie, on the way home. Once again food was invlolved as a curry was bought in, which we did our level best to polish off, but this time we didn't quite make it.
We have had loads going on aside from our anniversary. Leisha's football team played in the League cup final against Croydon Borough. Now Croydon won the league premiership and are also in both the league and county cup finals, for the second year running. They had some very BIG wins on the way to the final. South Park, Leisha's team, are in their first year, and have finished 3rd in Division 1. Their progress to the final was a little more sedate, but make it they did. They played a great game, and although they lost 3-0, they were not outplayed or outclassed. I think this means they can look foreard to next year with great excitment. Rather like Leisha's football team, Max's team was also relatively new this year, and they were playing in the Premiership Division. After a dreafdful start to the year, when they hardly knew each others names, and were at the bottom of the league, they turned things around after Christmas. Since then, they have played 8, winning 7 and drawing one. Which if they had played like this since the start of the season would ahve meant they would have won the league. Instead, they went from second last to 6th on the last day, so avoiding relugation. Again roll on next year.
Freja has just finished school for a few weeks on study leave, as she prepares to take her AS exams. We have also planned the university visits, to see which one she would like to go to. We have a shortlist of 5 for our roadtrip, Manchester, Leeds, Huddersfield, Plymouth and Brighton. Anya was involved in a photo shoot for one of her dance teachers who is seeting up a new dnace company, she looks great, and I will put some photos up when I can.
Of course we have also had the loft extension still continuing, however the end is in sight, as most of it will be finished this week, with it all finished by next Tuesday. then we can start getting everything back in order, and the painting and decorating really begins. So far we have spent a small fortune or so it seems on paint etc, quite a lot of it appears to be on my at the moment rather than the walls. We also had a work day down the allotment, with lots of people turning up to help get it in shape for this coming year. The helpers were Paul & Clare, Jo, Steve, Adam, Sian, Dee and Tess, Emma & Liz, Mum, Norm and Daph, and Jackie. (If I have missed anyone, sorry!!!) We provided tea and coffee, with bacon rolls to keep the energy levels up.
Lastly, on Friday I saw my oncologist, to see how I was settling in on my new medication. It seems as though I am fine on the new tablets, my bloods appear good, and my blood pressure is ok, which are the two area's of concern, However, for several weeks, I have had quite a bit of pain in my left hip and my left shoulder. This is linked to the bone where some of the disease has spread to, and the reason I have had some radiotherapy. The shoulder has cleared up fine, but the hip is still sore. I now have to wear a pain releif patch to help manage the pain, as well as taking paracetamol on a regular basis. I am meeting with my St Catherine's nurse this week, to check I am on the right level of pain relief. The oncologist is hopeful the hip will settle down, as damage to the bone can take quite some weeks to become better after radiotherapy, but we will see. All this means I am not as mobile as I would have liked, and am having to use my blue badge more than I like, but it was fun parking up the 911 and placing the blue badge in the window.
As you may have seen last Wednesday was Sarah and my 20th wedding anniversary and what a great time we had. First of all Sarah came home with a lovely present from work. Her work colleagues had bought us a night away at the Nutfield Priory Hotel, including dinner and breakfast. Thanks so much to everyone for this fantastic present, which also happened to be the hotel we spent our wedding night at. Now we knew of this present a few days before our actual anniversary so we managed to get well prepared, including sorting the kids out. Unbeknown to Sarah, I also had a chat with my good friends Jeremy and Jane, who lent me their Porsche 911 for a couple of days. Jeremy did offer me his Caterham 7, but I can't get in it without breaking switches so decided it was best not to pursue that option. Thank you Jeremy and Jane for this, and don't forget I still owe you for the petrol!
Well we started the day off by going to Chartwell, Winston Churchill's house, over near Westerham. We had lunch plus a walk around the house. I would have liked to walk around the grounds more but I was not up to it, more on that towards the end. We decided not to have a desert after lunch, and thought about a nice ice cream on Westerham green. However, as we parked up right outside a tea room offering lovely cream tea's, we decided it would be rude not to, so sat down in the sun to enjoy a very nice cream tea indeed.
We then left to go to the hotel and when we arrived we made use of the pool and spa for a while before getting ready and heading down to dinner. Now we were expecting a 3 course dinner, especially after all we had eaten so far, but no, we had a 5 course affair to get through. It was a major challenge but we made it, just!
Next morning we dropped the bags at home and checked that Mum had arrived to allow the builders access, then headed off to Rye for a day by the coast. Again we parked up and had a nice walk around town, whilst trying to find somewhere for lunch. As we were by the sea, I wanted something with fresh local crab in it. We tried several cafe's and really struggled to find somewhere, but in the end we did. I had a lovely salad, Sarah had sandwhich - I had had enough carbs by now and a salad was just fine. We left Rye and made a short visit to Tenterden, before heading over to Sarah's sister, Jackie, on the way home. Once again food was invlolved as a curry was bought in, which we did our level best to polish off, but this time we didn't quite make it.
We have had loads going on aside from our anniversary. Leisha's football team played in the League cup final against Croydon Borough. Now Croydon won the league premiership and are also in both the league and county cup finals, for the second year running. They had some very BIG wins on the way to the final. South Park, Leisha's team, are in their first year, and have finished 3rd in Division 1. Their progress to the final was a little more sedate, but make it they did. They played a great game, and although they lost 3-0, they were not outplayed or outclassed. I think this means they can look foreard to next year with great excitment. Rather like Leisha's football team, Max's team was also relatively new this year, and they were playing in the Premiership Division. After a dreafdful start to the year, when they hardly knew each others names, and were at the bottom of the league, they turned things around after Christmas. Since then, they have played 8, winning 7 and drawing one. Which if they had played like this since the start of the season would ahve meant they would have won the league. Instead, they went from second last to 6th on the last day, so avoiding relugation. Again roll on next year.
Freja has just finished school for a few weeks on study leave, as she prepares to take her AS exams. We have also planned the university visits, to see which one she would like to go to. We have a shortlist of 5 for our roadtrip, Manchester, Leeds, Huddersfield, Plymouth and Brighton. Anya was involved in a photo shoot for one of her dance teachers who is seeting up a new dnace company, she looks great, and I will put some photos up when I can.
Of course we have also had the loft extension still continuing, however the end is in sight, as most of it will be finished this week, with it all finished by next Tuesday. then we can start getting everything back in order, and the painting and decorating really begins. So far we have spent a small fortune or so it seems on paint etc, quite a lot of it appears to be on my at the moment rather than the walls. We also had a work day down the allotment, with lots of people turning up to help get it in shape for this coming year. The helpers were Paul & Clare, Jo, Steve, Adam, Sian, Dee and Tess, Emma & Liz, Mum, Norm and Daph, and Jackie. (If I have missed anyone, sorry!!!) We provided tea and coffee, with bacon rolls to keep the energy levels up.
Lastly, on Friday I saw my oncologist, to see how I was settling in on my new medication. It seems as though I am fine on the new tablets, my bloods appear good, and my blood pressure is ok, which are the two area's of concern, However, for several weeks, I have had quite a bit of pain in my left hip and my left shoulder. This is linked to the bone where some of the disease has spread to, and the reason I have had some radiotherapy. The shoulder has cleared up fine, but the hip is still sore. I now have to wear a pain releif patch to help manage the pain, as well as taking paracetamol on a regular basis. I am meeting with my St Catherine's nurse this week, to check I am on the right level of pain relief. The oncologist is hopeful the hip will settle down, as damage to the bone can take quite some weeks to become better after radiotherapy, but we will see. All this means I am not as mobile as I would have liked, and am having to use my blue badge more than I like, but it was fun parking up the 911 and placing the blue badge in the window.
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Another quick post
Happy 20th Wedding Anninversary Sarah Marsh. Thank you for being there through thick and thin, or in my case thin and fat! You have made my life complete, and I love you more every day. Here's to making the most of the next period of our lives together.
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